Vehicle Acronyms

July 7th, 2010

Excerpts from www.carbuyingtips.com

ACURA
Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
Asia’s Curse Upon Rural America

AMC
Autos May Combust

AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Under Diagnostic Inspection
Always Upside-down, Double Interest
Another Understated Dealer Incentive
A Used Dodge Incognito

BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Bavarian Manure Wagon
Biggest Metal Waste
Big Money Works
Bring My Wallet
Burn My Wallet
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Bring More Wrenches
Bavarian Money Waster
Big Money Wasted
Bring Money Where?
But Mom, Why?
Big Manufactured Waste

BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Idiot’s Cat Killer

CADILLAC
Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions
Company Asking Dealers If Local Lawyers Are Calling

CAMARO
Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing

CHEVROLET
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Check Heads Every Valve Rattles Or Leaks Every Time
Cracked Heads Every Valve Rattles Oil Leaks Every Time

CHEVY
Can’t Have Everything Vern, YaknowwhatImean?

CHRYSLER
Everyone knows who Lee Iacocca is right? His name IACOCCA stands for:
I Am Chairman Of Chrysler Corporation America

Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair (From James Bragg)
Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery
PT Loser (for PT Cruiser name)

DODGE
Doing Overhauls Daily Gets Expensive
Doesn’t only die, gets eaten
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Design Of Diabolical German Engineer
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Dear Old Dad’s Garbage Engine
Darned Old Dirty Greasy Engine
Don’t Our Dealers Gouge Everyone

FERRARI
Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively

FIAT
Found In A Trashcan
Fantastic In A Tightspot
Finest Italian Automotive Technology
Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation
Failure In Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time

FIRESTONE
Firestone Inexplicably Recalls Explosive SUV Tires On Non-stable Explorers (I worked on this one for 2 hours! – Jeff)
Firestone Overstates Reliability Data (The best one I’ve come up with yet, my personal fav.- Jeff)

FORD

PINTO: Put In New Transmission Often
Ford Pinto: Flaming Oven Roasted Driver-Passengers Incinerated Nine Times Over (Sent in by Laurin)
THUNDERBIRD: This Hoopty Usually Needs Daily Engine Repair But It Rolls Downhill (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)
MUSTANG – Motor Usually Starts Then Almost Never Goes
Found on repairman’s doorstep
Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
Full Of Rust Deposits
Faithful, Obedient, Reliable, Dependable
Fancy Oil Recycling Device
Found On Rubbish Dump
For Old Retired Drunks
Here’s a good one: FORD backwards –> Driver Returns On Foot
Here’s another good one: FORD backwards –> Driver Relies On Family
First On Recall Day
Fast On Race Day
For Off Road Driving
First On Race Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven
Fault Of R & D
MUSTANG – Mostly Unwanted Scrap Tin And Needless Garbage
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Flip Over, Read Directions
Fork Over Remaining Dough
First On Repair Day
FORD Owners Really Dumb
From Our Reject Department
LTD = Load of Trash from Detroit

GEO
Get Everything Overpriced
Got Everything Overhauled

GM
Government Motors
General Maintenance
General Mistakes
Generally Malfunctions
General Misery
Great Mess
General Malpractice
Genital Motors
Give More
GiMme
Getting Malignant

GMC
God’s Mechanical Curse
Getting Mostly Crap
GM Made Crap
Generally Makes Clouds
Generic Motors Corporation
Got A Mechanic Coming?
Greatest Mistake Created
Great Mountain of Crap
Greasy Messy Contraption
Gay Man’s Chevy
Generically Made Chevrolet

HONDA
Had One, Never Did Again
Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad’s Assistance
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
Honda Options: No Deal Available!
Hold On, No Dealer Add-ons!
Honda Options Never Deal Affordably
Hang On, No Dealer Acquisitions!

HYUNDAI
Here’s Y U Never Drive An Import
Hope You Understand: Nothing’s Drivable And Inexpensive
Hardly Your Understanding New Dealer Allowance Incentive
Hold Your Usual Nitpicks, Designs Are Improved
Helps You Undergo New Debt After Inception

Jeep
Just Empty Every Pocket
Just Eats Every Penny
Just Everybody Else’s Parts
Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
Just Expect Extra Payments

Jaguar
Just A Guess U Are Rich (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)
Jump Around Get Up And Run

Kia
Keep It Away!
Korean Imitation Accord
Korea’s Imported Accident
Killed In Action
Keep Inside Asia
Korea Invades America
Korean Industrial Accident
Killer Implosion Awaits
Killed In Accident

LAMBORGHINI
Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody’s Image
Lucky A Man By Owning Really Gives His Image Nice Inflation

LOTUS
Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious

Maserati
Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)

MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt
Most Are Zealously Duped Always

MERCEDES
My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke – But Efficiency Near Zero
Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon

MITSUBISHI
Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete

MOPAR
Match Old Parts As Required
Most Often Parked At Roadside
Move Over, Power Approaching Rapidly
Move Over People Are Racing
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Motor On Pavement After Race
Moments Of Power Are Rare

NISSAN
Need I Say Something About Nothing
Never In Season Simply A No-show

OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick’s Irregular Leftover Equipment

PONTIAC
Poor Old Ninny Thinks It’s A Cadillac

PORSCHE
Plenty Of Receipts. Sorry, Can’t Have Everything
PLENTY OF REPAIRS SERVICE CAN’T HELP EVERYTHING
Proof Only Rich Snobby Children Have Everything

SAAB
Some Ass Actually Boughtit!
Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Start Adding Additional Brakefluid
Stop Asking About Brakes!
Sorry As A Bum

SALEEN
Some Aristocrats Love Every Expensive Novelty

SATURN
Send Another Towtruck Ubiquitous Repairs Needed
Same American Trash Under Revised Name

SUBARU
Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas

TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Totalled Only Yesterday, Officer Towed Away
This One You Oughta Tow Away
To Operate Your Own Terrific Automobile
Tolerances Over Yielding, Often Towed Away
Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories

VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options

VW
Virtually Worthless
Very Wonderful
Very Weird
Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise
Volks Who?

License Plates – Bringing the Issue of Old Plates to the Table

July 6th, 2010

Whether you’ve purchased a new vehicle or sent your old one off to the junk yard, there’s always the question about what to do with old license plates. The staff here at ABS National Auto Services encountered this situation years ago when we began managing large fleet accounts and started receiving hundreds of license plates that were no longer being used and needed to know the proper way to handle an old plate.

Research

The question on most people’s mind is “What do we do with them?” “Can they be reused?”  “Do we surrender them to the state or can we get rid of them?” The answer is not the same for everyone because each state handles their old plates differently, but a quick call to your local DMV will clear up any question you may have.

Recycle

Most states will let you reuse your old license plate. For example, transferring plates in Florida can save you money on the cost of a new license plate.  Choosing not to transfer them requires you to turn them in to the local DMV or you could face possible suspension of your driver’s license. While some states, like Texas and Utah, give the owners the go-ahead to destroy or recycle their old plates.

If your state gives the option of destroy or recycle, recycling is always best. Millions of aluminum license plates end up in landfills every year that could have been prevented. Most curbside recycling programs take scrap metal, if your unsure whether local recyclers near you accept plates you can always call and ask! Before you recycle your old plates you want to cut them in half (be careful they are sharp) or deface any stickers on them to discourage theft and fraud.

Reinvent

Something that will warm the hearts of the green-conscious consumers is that many of the recycled plates are finding a new life. Ingeniously, a PA based company; ‘LittleEarth’ reinvents them into novelties and sells them as items such as day planners or purses in a boutique. We’ve even heard of folks decorating their home or garage with them (please clean them first!).

How you choose to return, reuse or reinvent your old plates is entirely up to you.  Just be sure you know the state requirement before you use them to re-shingle the roof of your dog’s house!