Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Vehicle Acronyms

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

Excerpts from

Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
Asia’s Curse Upon Rural America

Autos May Combust

Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Under Diagnostic Inspection
Always Upside-down, Double Interest
Another Understated Dealer Incentive
A Used Dodge Incognito

Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Bavarian Manure Wagon
Biggest Metal Waste
Big Money Works
Bring My Wallet
Burn My Wallet
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Bring More Wrenches
Bavarian Money Waster
Big Money Wasted
Bring Money Where?
But Mom, Why?
Big Manufactured Waste

Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Idiot’s Cat Killer

Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions
Company Asking Dealers If Local Lawyers Are Calling

Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing

Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Check Heads Every Valve Rattles Or Leaks Every Time
Cracked Heads Every Valve Rattles Oil Leaks Every Time

Can’t Have Everything Vern, YaknowwhatImean?

Everyone knows who Lee Iacocca is right? His name IACOCCA stands for:
I Am Chairman Of Chrysler Corporation America

Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair (From James Bragg)
Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery
PT Loser (for PT Cruiser name)

Doing Overhauls Daily Gets Expensive
Doesn’t only die, gets eaten
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Design Of Diabolical German Engineer
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Dear Old Dad’s Garbage Engine
Darned Old Dirty Greasy Engine
Don’t Our Dealers Gouge Everyone

Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively

Found In A Trashcan
Fantastic In A Tightspot
Finest Italian Automotive Technology
Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation
Failure In Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time

Firestone Inexplicably Recalls Explosive SUV Tires On Non-stable Explorers (I worked on this one for 2 hours! – Jeff)
Firestone Overstates Reliability Data (The best one I’ve come up with yet, my personal fav.- Jeff)


PINTO: Put In New Transmission Often
Ford Pinto: Flaming Oven Roasted Driver-Passengers Incinerated Nine Times Over (Sent in by Laurin)
THUNDERBIRD: This Hoopty Usually Needs Daily Engine Repair But It Rolls Downhill (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)
MUSTANG – Motor Usually Starts Then Almost Never Goes
Found on repairman’s doorstep
Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
Full Of Rust Deposits
Faithful, Obedient, Reliable, Dependable
Fancy Oil Recycling Device
Found On Rubbish Dump
For Old Retired Drunks
Here’s a good one: FORD backwards –> Driver Returns On Foot
Here’s another good one: FORD backwards –> Driver Relies On Family
First On Recall Day
Fast On Race Day
For Off Road Driving
First On Race Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven
Fault Of R & D
MUSTANG – Mostly Unwanted Scrap Tin And Needless Garbage
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Flip Over, Read Directions
Fork Over Remaining Dough
First On Repair Day
FORD Owners Really Dumb
From Our Reject Department
LTD = Load of Trash from Detroit

Get Everything Overpriced
Got Everything Overhauled

Government Motors
General Maintenance
General Mistakes
Generally Malfunctions
General Misery
Great Mess
General Malpractice
Genital Motors
Give More
Getting Malignant

God’s Mechanical Curse
Getting Mostly Crap
GM Made Crap
Generally Makes Clouds
Generic Motors Corporation
Got A Mechanic Coming?
Greatest Mistake Created
Great Mountain of Crap
Greasy Messy Contraption
Gay Man’s Chevy
Generically Made Chevrolet

Had One, Never Did Again
Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad’s Assistance
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
Honda Options: No Deal Available!
Hold On, No Dealer Add-ons!
Honda Options Never Deal Affordably
Hang On, No Dealer Acquisitions!

Here’s Y U Never Drive An Import
Hope You Understand: Nothing’s Drivable And Inexpensive
Hardly Your Understanding New Dealer Allowance Incentive
Hold Your Usual Nitpicks, Designs Are Improved
Helps You Undergo New Debt After Inception

Just Empty Every Pocket
Just Eats Every Penny
Just Everybody Else’s Parts
Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
Just Expect Extra Payments

Just A Guess U Are Rich (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)
Jump Around Get Up And Run

Keep It Away!
Korean Imitation Accord
Korea’s Imported Accident
Killed In Action
Keep Inside Asia
Korea Invades America
Korean Industrial Accident
Killer Implosion Awaits
Killed In Accident

Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody’s Image
Lucky A Man By Owning Really Gives His Image Nice Inflation

Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious

Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)

Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt
Most Are Zealously Duped Always

My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke – But Efficiency Near Zero
Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon

Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete

Match Old Parts As Required
Most Often Parked At Roadside
Move Over, Power Approaching Rapidly
Move Over People Are Racing
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Motor On Pavement After Race
Moments Of Power Are Rare

Need I Say Something About Nothing
Never In Season Simply A No-show

Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick’s Irregular Leftover Equipment

Poor Old Ninny Thinks It’s A Cadillac

Plenty Of Receipts. Sorry, Can’t Have Everything
Proof Only Rich Snobby Children Have Everything

Some Ass Actually Boughtit!
Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Start Adding Additional Brakefluid
Stop Asking About Brakes!
Sorry As A Bum

Some Aristocrats Love Every Expensive Novelty

Send Another Towtruck Ubiquitous Repairs Needed
Same American Trash Under Revised Name

Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas

Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Totalled Only Yesterday, Officer Towed Away
This One You Oughta Tow Away
To Operate Your Own Terrific Automobile
Tolerances Over Yielding, Often Towed Away
Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories

Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options

Virtually Worthless
Very Wonderful
Very Weird
Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise
Volks Who?